Gray Hair

I'm going to be honest - I have a weird obsession of plucking gray hairs out of my head - once I start, it's hard for me to stop. It used to be that I could pluck just a couple and be done, but lately the number has grown incredibly and I found myself plucking for 20 minutes before bedtime the other night and never even got to close to getting them all. (This drives my friend and hair stylist Debbie Mann crazy!) It wouldn't be so bad if they were just gray, but they are huge, wiry and stick straight out!

It's not that I'm not okay with getting older (I turned 40 in August), after all, it's all about how you feel and age is just a number, right? What I think it's really about is control. I can control my weight, I can control my fitness level, I can control my energy level by what kind of food I eat, but I can't control those stupid gray hairs. That FRUSTRATES me! I even prayed for awhile when they first started coming that God would please find it in his heart to take them away - He didn't - I got more.

So I am reading this lifechanging book called "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge and it is opening my eyes to the way that God sees us and how we can reflect His true beauty. I am starting to understand what it means to be truly beautiful, and it is not about my outside physical appearance. Here's a quote from the book that really resonated with me . . .

Every woman has a beauty to unveil.

Every woman.

Because she bears the image of God.

She doesn't have to conjure it, go get it from a salon, have plastic suregery or breast implants.

Beauty is an essence that is given to every woman at her creation.

There is a radiance hidden in your heart that the world desperately needs!

That is the journey I am on right now, finding the radiance in my heart that God has given me. I am beginning to understand that I can't control everything and that the gray hair doesn't matter (although I can say that I'm not completely at peace with that yet). What matters is how I love and honor God, how I show love to others, and that I embrace and pursue the purpose that He has for my life. In this, he will make me so beautiful that the gray hairs will just add character.

So from now on, whenever I start to get frustrated by the gray, I am going to stop and think of something beautiful about myself that God has given to me. But please do me a favor, when you see me, don't be looking for my gray hairs!