Happy Birthday Shelley!

Today is my good friend Shelley Arredondo's birthday.

I love hanging out with her, she is always a lot of fun. Shelley has taught me a lot about what it is to have a servant's heart and also about being a good Mom and putting your family first.

I am so blessed to have her in my life! Happy Birthday Shelley!!

The door is wide open!

I've been looking back over the last year of my life and reflecting a lot. The summer of '05 was an amazing time of being so close to God and understanding so much more about Him and my relationship with Him - it was awesome! Then fall came and at the last minute I got to go to that incredible "Captivating" conference with John and Stasi Eldredge, which was life changing. But that's where it all started - that's where God started doing heart surgery on me to remove a bunch of toxic stuff from my heart and my life and it's been a long, hard and dark journey since then. Thank God that He gave me such a great summer close to Him so that I had enough strength to make it through this dark time - He is so great at stuff like that!

So while I was looking back over my blog the past year, I found this post from March 6 and it gave me chills . . .

"From 6 months ago . . .

QUOTE: And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin

. . . something intense and extraordinary has begun to be uncovered in me. I've known for a long time that I've been being pulled to change and risk, but it was more comfortable for me to stay in the "bud" where it feels safe than to believe in myself and risk the pain of failing, being rejected or being criticized for who I am . . . I'm ready to take the risk and LIVE - really live!

I know that I'm at a crossroads right now and HUGE change is going to begin to take place in my life - God has designed so much more for my life and there's so much more He has out there for me. I am not truly being myself - I'm being what everyone else wants me to be and as of this moment, right now, I'm done - I'm truly done. I'M CHOOSING TO BLOSSOM BABY!

I'm choosing to embrace and uncover who God created me to be and I am going to honor him not by DOING, but by BEING . . . just being . . . being myself, being true, being honest, being aware, being in touch with my feelings, and being the beautiful human BEING that he created me to be."

If you would have told me a year ago that I would be out of ministry, not working with high school kids, unemployed and depressed to the point that it was hard to get out of bed in the morning, I would have told you you were crazy! But now I understand that God had to take me there to get me to where He wants me to be (kind of like prying something out of a baby's hand so that you can give it something better that it needs). I realize now that youth ministry was kind of like my "drug of choice" - I used it to numb my own pain and not look at my own stuff that needed to be taken care of, and that was not healthy.

So now my future is wide open and that's pretty exciting! I may end up back in ministry working with kids, but I may not . . . that's the exciting part . . . the door is wide open and there are a million possibilities! I have no idea where He's going to take me, but I know that wherever it is it's going to be amazing - probably not easy - but amazing, and I can't wait!

Here are a few important people I want you to meet . . . This is Esther

This is my friend Esther - isn't she beautiful? She is not just physically beautiful, but she has an incredibly beautiful spirit.

We (Jennifer, Jeanna and I) stayed with Esther during the last part of the trip. We were with her for only 2 days and one night, but it felt like we had known each other forever - like she was family.

Esther pastors a church with her husband (who was out of town at the time) and she has 2 adorable boys - Jose and Joel. We went with her to her church on Sunday and it was while I was there with her that I realized that I could actually live in India and do missions work if I ever had the opportunity. She cooked an amazing meal for us (the best we had while we were in India), she sewed up my sari for me, she taught us how to make tea, and we visited about 20 of her believers and prayed for them. It was amazing all we did with her in such a short time.

Esther has an amazing testimony and I will share it with you when the time is right. She is someone that I would definitely hop on a plane and fly nine thousand miles to see again!

This is Judah

This is Judah - a 21 year old church planter who has an amazing faith and amazing personality. Unfortunately, I didn't get to hang out with her a lot, she was with the other teams, but I did get to ride the train with her for 3 hours and I really enjoyed her!

Here she is on our first day going to the villages - she had 3 or 4 people who were waiting to be baptized once Shelley and her team arrived. This is a beautiful picture of love, compassion and dedication to Christ.

This is Sheela

Sheela was our translator when we went into the second village and stayed with Esther. Sheela was a BLAST! She was so much fun and we LOVED hanging out with her and getting to know her. She definitely made the last part of our trip so much fun!

Sheela is a "city girl" - she is from Bangalore where it is nice and cool all the time. She works for the Bible League in the office and came on this trip with us at the last minute. Sheela has not ever been to the villages we went to or experienced this kind of trip, so it was really a lot of fun seeing the things we saw through her eyes. All of it was just as new to her as it was to us!

What I will remember most about Sheela is the day Esther and her friends and family took us to the beach. Sheela had never been swimming in the ocean before and she went all out and had so much fun - nothing was stopping her from enjoying life and enjoying the moment. I'm sure Jesus was smiling while He was watching us play in the ocean!

This is Kamala

This is Kamala making fresh squeezed orange juice for us one afternoon. Kamala is an amazing woman who is single and is in ministry with Mono. She has planted a church in the village of Kellmambattu and it was the first service that we went to. Mono does the "youth ministry" and Kamala does the adult service. It was beautiful to watch them work together.

Kamala is a very strong woman - she loves Jesus and doesn't care what other people think about her (the picture above is a saying that is painted on the outside of her house). Because she is not married, and doesn't want to be, she has no support, she's very poor and she relies totally on God for finances to live and take care of her church. Now that is faith! For 3 days she never left our side, she protected us, took care of us and loved us. Even though we could barely communicate with her, she has left an impression on my heart that will never fade. She is truly remarkable!

This is Mono

Mono is my new hero - She is probably the most beautiful and courageous woman I have ever met and I want to be just like her when I grow up!

Mono is just 24 years old and she has 5 church groups in 5 different villages that she walks to. In one year she has baptized 27 adults and 7 teenagers. She is currently taking the Bible league's CPT classes and I think that she is going to rock India and change the world!

She has an incredible testimony, so keep watching and I will share it shortly. It is so incredible it has to be saved for a special day.

This is Aroma

This is my new sister and friend Aroma. She was our translator when we went to the first village and Julie and I got to spend 3 days with her - we LOVED her! Aroma is Prema's sister and she speaks very good English - she was an excellent translator and definitely has a gift for it.

Aroma was very funny, sweet, protective and playful. By the last day she was joking around with us and we could not hardly get her to take a serious picture with us. She would love to come to America some day and we would love it if she came! She is very happily married for just over a year (I think) and is looking forward to having children soon. I can't wait to see her again!