I’m weeping right now as I try to form my words and thoughts . . .

This morning I jumped on Comcast to check the news like I do every morning, I can’t help it, I’m a creature of habit. I do my best not to bombard myself with depressing news, but I do think it’s important to know what’s going on in the world, so I carefully screen what I read. I noticed a headline that said “Jurors Weep at details of “Baby Grace” torture”. I looked at it and looked at it, not wanting to click on it – wondering if I should “protect” myself and bypass it. Something told me I needed to read it, so I did. What I read paralyzed me for a few long minutes – then I cried . . . then I got angry . . . then I got motivated and excited (I’ll explain that part later).

Now, I know that I have made a promise that my blog would be uplifting and encouraging – that you can always count on finding good news here, but stick with me, because believe it or not there is good news in this post.

In short, the article told of little Riley Ann Sawyers, who was named “Baby Grace” after her decomposed body was found in a storage container, washed up on an island in Texas in October of 2007. Her mother, Kimberly Trenor who is 20 now, is on trial for her murder, along with her husband, Riley’s step-father Royce Zeigler (he’ll be tried separately). It seems the couple was trying to teach Riley to say “please” and “yes sir”. She was not doing it to their expectations so they tortured and abused her, thinking they were disciplining her. At one point she tried to stop her Mom by reaching out to her and saying “I love you”. The final act that killed Riley was her step father flinging her across the room, fracturing her skull. The step-father convinced Mom that they couldn’t take her to a hospital or they would go to jail, so they tried CPR and she died with her Mom holding her. They bought a storage container, put her body in it, placed it in a shed for a month or two, and then set the container out to sea.

(Okay . . . Stop . . . breathe . . .breathe . . . )

Kimberly says that she never intended to hurt her daughter - that things spun out of control and she didn’t know what to do to stop it.

Riley’s father, Kim’s ex boyfriend, assaulted her and they did not have a good relationship so she stayed until something better came along. Kim met Royce (the step-dad) while playing an online game and decided to move from Ohio to Texas to be with him because he was her “knight in shining armor”.

(Ok – are you ready for the good news? It’s coming, I promise)

My take on this (and there’s no judgment here, just concern and compassion) is that for some reason Kim wasn’t OK – she did not have the support and training she needed to function as a balanced and strong woman or a loving Mom. She became dependent on others to define who she was and take care of her instead of taking care of herself. I don’t know her entire story, but I’m guessing she’s been hurt a lot, and I truly believe the saying is true “hurt people . . . hurt people”. What I know just from this article is that she was abused by her boyfriend and she ran to “a knight in shining armor” to save her, only to put herself and her baby into an even worse situation. My heart breaks for her and all the other “Kims” out there that don’t know they were created for soooo much more than that – that life was designed to be beautiful, happy and full of joy, even in difficult times.

What happened to little Riley cannot be changed, but from her story we can choose to make change happen if we become PROACTIVE rather than reactive. Reactive would be responding with judgment and blame, complaining about it and not doing anything about it, hoping for the death penalty – that helps no one.

Being PROACTIVE would be finding a way to help at risk women become strong and confident in who they are - helping them understand they were created for something amazing and that they are here for a purpose, not by accident. Have you ever heard the saying “If Momma ain’t happy, ain't nobody happy”? Well, I believe that is the honest to God truth! The root of helping families work better is diffusing these types of situations before they happen – we’ve got to help our girls and the women in our lives learn how to Live Happy and be in control of who they are and who they were made to be.

(So finally, here’s the part that motivates me and excites me . . . )

Just last night, 12 hours prior to reading this news article, I completed a volunteer training at Hannah’s House, a pregnancy home in Mishawaka. The timing is amazing, because I learned that is exactly what their mission is - to transform the thinking and actions of “at risk” Mom’s to be. At Hannah’s house, many of the girls who come in have been abused, are in co-dependent and/or abusive relationships, and have no idea what being a Mom means. At Hannah’s House they learn basic life skills like taking care of a baby, making healthy and safe choices for them and their baby, eating together as a family, cooking a nutritious dinner, meal planning and budgeting, how to get a long with people you live with, etc. Hannah’s House is being PROACTIVE by teaching the girls how to take care of themselves and their babies in a healthy and balanced way so that they are never in an unsafe situation like Kim found herself to be in. They are stopping the problem BEFORE it happens! (Click HERE to read some of the girls stories.) Hannah’s House and the volunteers work with about 40 Mom’s a year. That is HUGE in stopping this damaging cycle of poverty and low self esteem right here in our own community. With that kind of program, hopefully their stories will turn out much differently than Kim and Riley’s tragic story.

If we stick our heads in the sand (like I wanted to do when I read the head line) and we become complacent or just stuck in our own little world and then REACT negatively when we hear of the bad things that happen, it’s not very productive. What we could do is be PROACTIVE and help where we’re needed BEFORE a tragedy strikes.

I’m excited that there is an incredible local organization (Hannah’s House) that I can partner with and use my skills and experience to help women uncover the light that’s inside them. Those Mom’s will pass that light onto their children, and it goes on and on. I’m motivated to do the hard work it’s going to take because even though times are hard and there are so many bad things happening all around us, we have an amazing opportunity to shine our lights and conquer the darkness. The world needs every single one of us to SHINE!

That could look different for every person, because God has wired us all in different ways. For me, I am committed to helping people, especially women dig deep and find out what is keeping them small, what it is that makes them shine, and what it is they’re here for. It’s why I have this blog, it’s why I provide workshops and classes to any female who will listen or take the time out of their schedule to come. Because if we all would get really solid in who are and who were created to be, our lights would shine so brightly that it would overcome the darkness of this world, and THAT my friend, it what it’s all about!

So that’s why this story excited and motivated me. The darker the world gets the brighter our lights need to shine to overcome the darkness. And remember, the darkness NEVER overcomes the light, but the light, even with just a small flicker, CAN conquer the darkness!

Some Questions to think about:

How can you shine your light to overcome the darkness?

Where will you shine your light?

What gets in the way of your light being brighter?

How will you choose to be proactive instead of reactive?


Some quotes to inspire you:

You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in. ~Arlo Guthrie

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within. ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

The hero is the one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by. The saint is the man who walks through the dark paths of the world, himself a light. ~Felix Adler

You groped your way through that murk once, but no longer. You're out in the open now. The bright light of Christ makes your way plain. So no more stumbling around. Get on with it! The good, the right, the true—these are the actions appropriate for daylight hours. Figure out what will please Christ, and then do it. Ephesians 5:8-10 (The Message)

Let me tell you why you are here . . . You're here to BE LIGHT, bringing out the God colors in the world. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God. Matthew 5:13-14, 16 (The Message)